This pandemic certainly changed the norm on how we communicate at work. Those who normally just do face-to-face meetings will suddenly find themselves learning how to use their company’s teleconferencing tools whether via conventional landline, online conferencing software or mobile apps.
Before the livincovidaloca ordeal, I am already used to conference calls. In fact, I probably spend 80% of my time on conference calls. The worst I had was 10 conference calls in an 8hr work day. The headset was already like a permanent accessory glued to my head and ear. So I guess that kind of settles my credibility in dealing with this topic.
I have many funny, annoying and cringe- worthy encounters in conference calls. Many could have been avoided only if people followed this golden rule: stay on mute when not talking or presenting. Nevertheless, some people just don’t get this rule and end up being at least one of the 13 types of people in the call that no one (as in NO ONE) likes. Here they are in no particular order, as well as tips on how to avoid becoming one yourself in your next call:
1. The Darth Vader– someone who breathes heavily over the microphone. It literally sounds like someone is breathing down your neck or rather next to your ear so it is absolutely annoying. This happens when someone who just had a cardio workout joins the call or simply when a person has his/her nose (or mouth) almost touching the microphone. What’s the solution? Make sure you are rested and relaxed when you join the call, or stay on mute until your breathing comes back to normal, and make sure your nose/mouth is not too close to the microphone.
2. The Bio (Un)breaker– someone who participates in the call when in the toilet. What exactly he/she is doing, we really don’t want to know but we eventually found out because of what we heard. And once people have heard it, sadly there’s really no unhear button. So please, spare us the gory details and just leave the call and take your much needed bio break. Just inform the people in the call via chat message that you need to step out for x number of minutes and set your status as Be Right Back or something similar, so you don’t interrupt the ongoing presentation or discussion. I would strongly advise against just going on mute because some conferencing tools actually allow the host to unmute participants. Imagine if that happens…both you and the rest of the people in the call will be in for a wicked surprise.
3. The Muncher – the one who noisily eats in the background or speaks while chewing food during the call. Have you ever had someone chewing gum or eating chips right by your ears? Or just someone speaking in a muffled voice since they have food in their mouth? Oh dear, oh dear…I absolutely despise this! It’s perfectly understandable if you are hungry and really need to eat…but must you really let other people listen to every bite? What’s the right thing to do? Let other people know that you are eating during the call and therefore will be ON MUTE unless required to speak. And if requested to speak, make sure you’re done chewing and don’t have any food left in your mouth (yes, people can tell!) before speaking. People will then naturally understand that you might take an additional minute to speak up.
4. The Absconder– the one who left in the middle of the call without saying goodbye. Getting disconnected is one thing but just leaving without any word? It can be irritating especially if people only realize it just when they need that person’s input in the call. If you need to drop off the call for any reason, inform the meeting participants via the meeting chat message or vocally during the call if timing permits. If not at all possible, drop an email afterwards to send your apologies for dropping off the call unexpectedly and check if your input was needed on any topic.
5. The Ear Bleeder – the person who speaks along with a lot of echo and static noise and basically made everyone’s ears bleed until he/she manages to fix what caused the unpleasant audio feedback or finally gives up (thankfully!) and drops the call. The bad audio feedback may be caused by bad reception or by using multiple channels to join the call (ie via mobile, landline and voip) and not muting the audio of the device only used for viewing. So what can you do? If it’s bad reception, I would suggest either dropping off the call altogether if inaudible on both sides or just stay in the call to listen in and just use the chat function if you need to provide feedback. If the cause is with the multiple devices that you’re using and you’re totally confused as to which one needs to be muted, then just stick to one device and turn off the rest. For next time, try testing your multiple device connection with a colleague before the call so you get more familiar with handling the audio controls.
6. The Presenteeism-er – the person who insists on working while sick. What is wrong with you, seriously? Do you think you’ll get brownie points for still joining the call when you’re coughing your lungs out, sounding muffled because of colds, or speaking in your bedroom voice? I have four words for you: No one is indispensable. And another four: Take care of yourself. And guess what, if you keep on doing this, people will actually think you’re irresponsible. Besides, if you’re really sick, how much can you actually contribute to the call? Trust me, whatever it is, it can wait til you get better.
7. The Commuter – the person who joins the call but is obviously on the road due to the familiar noise of being on the train, tram, bus or any other public transport. It becomes slightly annoying when the commuter unmutes and what you can hear are mostly the background noise and not the person’s voice. This can inevitably happen especially if one’s job requires travel, if calls are scheduled outside the normal working hours (ie, too early or too late), or if you’re dealing with people from different time zones and the call schedule hits the rush hour traffic. How can you prevent this? If it’s an important call which requires you to be an active participant, then reschedule. If you will mostly be a listener, then it’s alright to proceed and just inform the people right from the start that you are traveling and as such will be on mute most of the time and will use the chat box for any questions/comments.
8. The Background Noiser– very similar to the Commuter except this relates to general background noise. When the person joins the call or unmutes, everyone hears the noticeable background noise. Common background noises include children, people talking, the electric fan, the coffee machine, the washing machine and dryer, etc. Once I had a colleague join the call with an interesting background noise- like that of a welding shop or metal works shop. We were like, “How’s the welding coming along, Peter?” Turned out his next door neighbors were getting some metal grills fixed to their windows. So to avoid being the Background Noiser, make sure you take the call in a quiet room where possible. In cases where you don’t have a room available, again it’s better to just reschedule if you will be an active participant. Otherwise, inform your colleagues of your situation, just be on mute and use the chat box for comments and questions.
9. The Megaphone– the person who SHOUTS or speaks in a LOUD voice during the call. So loud that it will really hurt your ears. When this happens, you can politely tell the person to tone it down. To avoid being the Megaphone, just speak in your normal voice and ask people for confirmation if they can hear you well and if you need to either speak a little louder or softer.
10. The Twilight Zoned – the person who joins the call but was never invited. When you find yourself in a call where the topic does not ring a bell nor the people seem unfamiliar…well, there’s not much you can do but apologize and get out of the call. How can that happen? There are a few possibilities actually: 1) If you join a call with a meeting PIN/code, you might have entered the wrong one; 2) you might have joined the call too early and the call scheduled before yours is still ongoing; and, 3) technical glitch- something has technically gone wrong that when you tried to join your call, you were directed to the twilight zone. So how can you prevent this? Make sure you enter the correct meeting PIN/code and try not to join a call too early (like 10 minutes early). Not much you can do if it’s a technical glitch except report the issue when it happens so it can be fixed for next time. On the other hand, if you happen to be invited subsequently by one of the meeting participants without the rest knowing, once you join the call, just introduce yourself, inform them of who invited you to the call and for which purpose so it’s clear.
11. The Secret Caller– the person in the call that no one can identify. Ever had a call and the host went, “Who’s on the line?” or “Who just joined?” for a number of times and still no response? Very annoying. It normally happens when a person joins via phone. Please don’t be that person. You know when you dial into the call and you’re prompted to state your name? Do it. If not, then please introduce yourself once you’re in the call.
12. The Exposer– the presenter in the call who accidentally shows something that’s not intended for the call. It could range from a funny desktop photo, an embarrassing browsing activity, or a confidential email. Please, spare your colleagues the agony of being embarrassed for you. If you will be presenting in a call, make sure to prepare beforehand by getting the files you need all opened for easy access and close everything else that is not needed for the call.
13. The Distracted– the person who is not paying attention to the call for many possible reasons. When all of a sudden this person’s input in the call is required, the typical reaction would be, “Sorry, can you please repeat the question?” or if the person is honest, “Sorry, I was doing something else, can you please repeat what you said?” Major eye roll. How to avoid being distracted? Well, concentrate and make sure that you take the call in a room that will allow you to do so. Also, try to avoid multitasking (guilty!) and side chatting (guilty again) while still in the call.
So there you have it. Now that you are aware of these villains, please be the hero in your next conference call and apply the golden rule of staying on mute when not chairing or presenting and follow the preventive measures I mentioned.
Have you ever been a villain in a conference call? Or do you have more villains to add to this list? Let me know in the comments!
