Long before The Mother of Dragons, Daenerys Targaryen of The Game of Thrones, became known to me, I already know of one dragon mother. My very own mom.
The Dragon title was actually bestowed upon my mom by her very own siblings. Being the eldest of nine children and with parents who were busy running a business, we were told by my mom that she had to step in and keep her siblings in check- at all costs. This means making sure that they go to school, do their homework, do the chores…and basically survive.
There is a good reason why her siblings called her a dragon. It’s not because of her warm words or embrace. It’s because as small as she was – I think she was only 5’1”- she commanded respect as she was very strict and her ways of caring is mostly on the tough love side.
One of my titas fondly told us sisters the story: “The very day your mom and dad moved to your house, we siblings had a big party as if a tyrant was overthrown.”
My mom though very strict- although I think still within reason (we never got grounded), had a loud voice (she was a teacher) and can make you cry with her hurtful words- especially if she scolded you in public-was never a dragon in my eyes.
She was Ate Nene to her siblings and relatives, Aling Nene to our neighbors and tenants, Nene/Leony to her friends, and Mrs. Avellana to her students. But to me and my sisters, she was simply Mommy.
I was closer to my dad growing up. But after my dad died when I was 19, I felt like I lost my biggest supporter. My relationship with my mom was okay but was also not great. I don’t remember ever confiding in her or having a general pleasant catch-up talk. Everything was about chores- go do this and that.
Just when I thought our relationship was hopeless, I moved overseas and became closer to my mom…ironically.
Being the dutiful daughter, I called my mom regularly. It was awkward at first as I never really talked to my mother like that- as if suddenly we have this strong mother-daughter-tell-me-everything-relationship. I had to try anyway even for just 30 minutes. Eventually it became easier, more natural and I actually looked forward to telling her about my goings-on, ask her advice on certain matters, and also to hear about the latest news about her.
We also got to spend some quality time together whenever we visited each other and went traveling together.
My last conversation with my mom was her asking me what dish I would like served for our family reunion that was supposedly on easter 2018. That call was on mid-January 2018. A few days after that call, my mother had brain aneurysm and died on July that same year.
My mom rarely called me but I’m glad I made an effort to call her every now and then for 17 years.
If you still have a mom, give her a call and wish her a happy mother’s day.
